Oftentimes, when we pray and wait for the answer to our prayers, we get impatient when the answer linger too long. We often go in search of alternatives and end up complicating our lives more. The story of why I will be spending the rest of my days with my wonderful best friend Ipadeolami cannot be complete without the story of the journey of how I stumbled on such a wonderful and rare gem.
Many often claim to have found their missing rib. That will simply mean they have worked hard at the task of finding her. I did work hard though but in all the wrong directions till God smiled on me. I wasn’t even searching nor in the mood to search. I attribute my finding such a gem to God because I would never have discerned her myself no matter how hard I tried.
Let me start by giving a little background to how we met and all the things that brought me to conclude and be deeply convinced that she is the one for me.
I have never been a ladies’ man as I am an introvert. I usually didn’t make friends easily myself but I make sure the few I have get the best of me. That didn’t stop the ladies from flocking though as I was among the top of my class and being an entrepreneur in school, had some good following/fan base. I have fallen in and out of love for several reasons but didn’t know exactly what I wanted in a spouse till my 24th birthday when a relationship crisis caused me to sit down and produce a list. I was in my fourth year at the university and was just starting to find my feet in the business endeavors I had embarked upon the previous year. The list was kept in my heart and in a book (can’t find it…lol). The next two relationships were not guided by this list and little wonder they ended up being total disasters and I was so hurt I made up my mind not to think about marriage till I am 30! I was so committed to this idea that I resisted my parent’s plea to bring someone home or be “match-make”. Prior to this time, I had made and lost money in my business and was just recovering from a major setback in my business. I had concluded that even if I wanted, I couldn’t possibly recover fully until 2015 to be ready for marriage anyways. So I resisted every attempt to talk me into any relationship with the opposite sex. I kept this idea firmly in my mind and was not swayed until one fateful afternoon on the 24th September 2012.
On that fateful day, I decided to get married within one year. At this time, I had nobody in my life and had no one in sight. I honestly didn’t know what triggered the sudden change of mind but I knew it was time and it was purely my decision. My business had also just began to pick up again after a major setback. I was determined to work hard, find a bride and walk down the aisle in one year. The search began but without my famous list…lol. But I prayed to God this time to help me and show me favor. With the help of my married sisters, we quickly produced a target list of sorts. Four names popped up and I was being debriefed of all their features and all. All four were close friends to both my sisters so information about them was not hard to come by. My preference was a tall, light-skinned Igbo lady that was also my kid sister’s chief bridesmaid at her wedding. At the end of that discussion, a name sprang up out of nowhere. It was Ipadeolami. A girl introduced to me a few months (9months) before. I had deliberately lost contact with her about 6months before and thought it unwise to go searching after her. But like a man whose path is being guided, I made an immediate attempt to search her out and there she was on Facebook.
I made contact with her and we have not stopped till now! That last statement made it sound very simplistic right? It didn’t work out so easily at first. I remember the first time I made contact with her, I had to apologize for not keeping in touch for over 6 months. She politely accepted the apology but I know she couldn’t care less. A week into our discussions, she has made it clear to me that she isn’t interested in any relationship and told me not to bother asking. We continued to get to know each other and after a full month, we decided to meet (I was based in another state). I must confess that at this point, I haven’t fully made up my mind about her. I traveled all the way from Ondo State to Lagos to meet her.
On sighting her on that hot sunny Sunday afternoon, I knew almost instantly that I had “found” my wife. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen (in my eyes ooooo). She was smaller than I’d imagined but she was every inch beautiful from head to toe. She also had such angelic voice that melted away the stress I had gone through reaching her. She received me into her father’s home office and offered me colder water to cool my hot body system. She also quickly put on the AC to help my body cool and relax after the long journey. She did everything to make me feel at home and comfortable. I was still awestruck such that all my rehearsed lyrics had disappeared and I just sat and stared like a dumbfounded and lost soul…lol. After about two hours of silence-filled conversations, I decided to pour out my heart. I gave a 1-hour power packed manifesto which she simply replied to with a giggle, a smile and a sharp “I cant marry you” conclusion. I was deflated like a balloon but was determined to see this mission to its destined end. The days that followed our meeting buttressed her standpoint as all my attempts to reach her were being avoided as much as possible. This continued for a few days till I called a “crisis meeting” where she made her stand abundantly clear as politely and as clearly as possible. She explained why she had to be avoiding me and reiterated her stand of not wanting a relationship with me nor anyone else for that matter. It didn’t deter me from telling her what I wanted from her. After much cajoling, we agreed to see one more time before I returned to my base in Ondo State.
By the end of that second date, I was completely hooked! I didn’t even remember I had four other targets on my list. Everything just stacked up right with her that I knew deep down that she was the answer to my lifelong prayers. It still took me a while to convince her that she belongs with me. I must also quickly add that I was nothing close to what she wanted in terms of physical appearance. So I wasn’t an easy choice for her. But I kept pressing and sharing my vision with her and kept working on my business as I have promised to be married to her in one year or less.
Our relationship has lasted over a year now and we still growing strong. It has not been all rosy, as we have been tempted to call it quits on several occasions especially when my business failed and I lost my source of steady income for several months. I was out of employment for several months. But in all that time and through all the struggles, I have come to know deeply and more intimately, a rare and uncommon woman blessed with grace and virtues.
First off, she is humble and unassuming. She is quick to correct wrong but also quick to help one correct them. When she finds a fault, she is proactive in finding solutions. I call her my solution center. She is God-fearing and considerate. Caring and intelligent. Has a heart of gold and forgives easily. She is strong but also emotional. She is beautiful, ambitious, smart, loves family, loves children, many other adjectives that describes good! She is just totally amazing. I have hardly seen a woman who remains committed and focused even in the face of obvious discouragements. She has a never say die spirit and keeps pressing on even when all she can see is discouragement all around. She has a compassionate heart with a heart for the needy. There is hardly a dull moment with her. She could also be so naughty that you’ll sometimes get frustrated trying to understand her. She is prayerful and full of faith in God. She is also pragmatic and realistic which makes for a very balanced outlook on life. She is not all perfect though. She’s got her own flaws like everyone of us. But she more than covers for them with her many virtues. I call her my virtuous woman but she always corrects me saying she is only a work in progress and hasn’t gotten to the point of being called a virtuous woman.
I can go on and on writing about this wonderful masterpiece of God. I think of her and all my worries disappear. She is God’s gift to me. I really don’t know what I did to deserve or attract such a priceless jewel but I remain humble and grateful to God for blessing me with her.
We have anxiously waited beyond the time we planned because business didn’t go well and my current employment isn’t paying well either. She didn’t turn her back on me all through and has endured and keep enduring through this hard time. I still hope and pray and work hard daily to be able to walk her down the aisle before this year winds up. I have feared the worst. I have feared losing her because I know priceless pieces don’t stay on the market for long. I don’t want to keep her waiting too long as she clocked 27 a few days ago. As I keep seeking for honest ways to raise my income and gather resources to start a home with her and to build myself up into the kind of man that is not only fit to have such a gem but also more than capable of giving her the best things of life. We are still a long way from where we want to be but I pray that God will help and accelerate our progress. My heart desire is to get married to her before the end of September 2014. I am yet to get us a befitting house though I have been saving hard towards that. My income is very small but I still try hard to put some away. I know only a miracle can make me meet up with this year but I believe in miracles. Being with her in the first place is a miracle and I know that I wont have to wait too long to see my lifelong dream of walking down the aisle with her come true.
I shared this story so others can believe in the existence of true love. She is my one and only true love. I have no doubt with a little faith and some work on ourselves, we will find true love. As I await my miracle, your own miracle too will come!